On a Lighter Note

Every day in every way I am getting a little more confused… No, but honestly… BW cycles just about everywhere these days, and it seems that the God of Punctures has it in for her at the moment, she has had three in a matter of weeks; the first time she took her cycle to the shop and got it repaired, low and behold the day she got it back, yes, you got it, another puncture! So, the decision was to switch to her newer cycle, a much more robust one; everything was fine until yesterday, you guessed, another puncture, luckily she managed to get to work before the worst happened, so she didn’t wind up pushing her bike a couple of miles… Consequently she, and the bike, had to be rescued last night somewhere around sevenish. This time I was prevailed upon to undertake the repair, quite simple really as we had a spare inner tube, and it only took me about twenty minutes; I am sure that the cycle shop would have been more efficient, but would also have charged seven quid for the privilege… Hmmm… Perhaps I should start charging BW for my services…

Kind Words and Brickbats…

Apologies for the play on the film title, Kind Hearts and Coronets, even feeling this low I could not resist it. I would like to respond to all comments in this manner instead of just responding to each one and saying the same thing over and over. It is so good to know that there are people out there who care and understand the nature of ths beast; and no matter how many time ones is attacked by such black moods one is never really prepared for them, I know I certainly was not this time and I have been in the pit many times before. To all of those who have offered advice and support, the “Kind Words”, I would say thank you, and it does help even if only to make me think about other things, and strategies to help me through it.

However, it is not so good to also realise that there are those who neither care nor understand the nature of this beast; those who can only throw negativity, the “Brickbats” into the melting pot, whose only aim is to be critical, who are so full of their own self importance as to be unbelievable; and they have the gall to call me self-obsessed. They know who they are, and to them I would say I can full well do without you and if you have nothing constructive to say then I would rather you kept your big mouths well and truly shut!

Update: Due to the fact that some people cannot take good advice and keep their mouth shut I have taken the unprecedented step of starting a blacklist for the comments. This is not in keeping with my belief in freedom of speech, but there are just some things which I will not tolerate… 

Black Moods and Idiots!

Before I launch into a rant I would like to thank those who have made kind and understanding comments with regard to my previous two posts; I need not name them as they know who they are.

However there is always one who stands out from the crowd, this time for all of the wrong reasons! I will not name and shame, although it is easy to discover the identity simply by reading the comments on the previous post. His first comment was:-

I think, by and large, on the whole and taking it in the round, as it were, poetry(?) is not your way out! Try knitting, or running a marathon, or join the il-Lib-non-Dems, or anything really, but not, I’m afraid to tell you, poetry.

Upon which a more sympathetic commenter told him to keep his unkind comments to himself; his response was:-

It appears unhelpful if you happen to disagree with the main thrust. Others might think it an excellent piece of commonsense aimed at some-one who appears to be unhealthily self-obsessed and, even worse, suffering with the misconception that his trite lines are meaningful and profound poetry. They’re not. Sorry, but that’s the fact.

All I can say to this person is that I hope that one day he is in the position that his every other thought is a suicidal one, and that if he tries to communicate this to others in whatever form that people just turn and say “pull yourself together”. Frankly I am inclined to tell this person to fuck off and crawl back under the rock that he was hiding under; however no matter how black the mood I still retain my dignity and it is beneath my dignity to even begin to have any sort of discourse with such an insensitive idiot as this!

Struggles

How can anyone
Who has not
Been there understand
Those blackest moods?
Moods in which
The individual devoid
Of the will to
Live desires an
End, but can
Not acheive this
Goal because they
Are too bloody
Afraid to die!
How can anyone
Who has not
Been there understand
The turmoil and
The torment of
This tortured soul,
Being wrenched this
Way and that;
Being torn asunder
By conflicting emotions.
How can anyone
Who has not
Been there understand
All of that?

Relationships

Relationships are
Just so much crap!
You’re damned
If you do,
And
You’re damned
If you don’t.
You never get it right,
So why bother?
Better to wrap
Yourself in
A tight cocoon
And let the rest
Of the world
Go fuck itself!

Religion and Violence…

OK, so the Pope thinks of Islam as a potentially violent religion; I heard Cardinal Cormack Murphy O-Connor on the Today programme this morning trying to defend his Holiness. What rank hypocrisy flows from the mouths of these people, they come across with the view that Christianity is somehow the superior religion; what utter bollocks! I suppose that Christianity has never been a violent religion, that is give or take a few inquisitions, the odd Crusade here and there, plus the whole Reformation period; no, I suppose all in all Christianity has been on the whole a pretty pacifist religion, and if you believe that well you are a patsy for every con artist around…

Caravans!!!!!

Why are these bloody things allowed on the road? Or more pertinently why are drivers who have no idea how to drive towing them allowed on the road? Coming back from Islay on Monday we encountered two very different types of driver towing caravans; the first was being towed by someone who knew precisely the problems caused by these mobile chicanes and who pulled over to let us pass, not only that but to his own disadvantage as he pulled over right at the bottom of a hill which I would have been prepared to follow him up as I knew that there would probably be an overtaking opportunity at the top. The second we encountered on the approach to Callendar, by which time BW was driving, this one we had to follow, very slowly (only on very rare occasions getting up to 40mph) virtually to Stirling, as we passed this abomination we found it being driven by a young woman (and not the ancient couple that we had expected to see in the car) who obviously had no clue that she was holding up a line of traffic stretching back a long way; I would not complain if it were not for the fact that there were ample opportunities for her to pull over in order to let the traffic build up behind pass, but did she, NOT ON YOUR LIFE! it is now a legal requirement for agricultural vehicles to pull over and let traffic building up behind pass, so why should this not also be the case for caravans?

On a lighter note, as we came through Crianlarach, BW driving, we came up behind one of these mobile home (camper van) type things; BW lets out a groan of frustration obviously thinking that she is going to have to wait a while to overtake it. But none of it, we fast come up behind a mini-bus and at the first opportunity the guy is out and off, it was a while before BW could overtake the mini-bus, and even driving like Jensen Button it took her a while to catch up the mobile home again, but there was never any chance that she was going to be able to overtake it as this thing was being driven by a very confident and competent driver, plus the fact that it was quite a high performance custom built jobbie. He eventually caught up the aforementioned caravan and after a while just gave up and pulled into a parking space and let the caravan get well ahead. Oh if only there were more of these on the road, especially if they were driven in such a competent and confident manner… Well, it gave us both a laugh! 

The Islay Jazz Festival

Aw… You people are so nice, well most of you anyway. I couldn’t think of anything to have a rant about; I know, I know, there are many things really, Blair v Brown, Bush v The World, 4×4 drivers, caravans on the roads etc. etc. But, hey, I am too chilled to even pollute my mind with such things, I am not saying that the “black moods” are gone they are still ever present, but a weekend at the Islay jazz Festival has certainly helped. I have to say that there are some things which I am so glad that I did not miss like a piano duet between David Berkman and David Milligan; I know it was supposed to be Brian Kelloch but he had to pass with a broken finger; I will swear to my dying day that David Berkman has four hands, he is truly a great jazz pianist, and that is taking nothing away from David Milligan, as the whole performance was truly awesome! Two fine pianists who fed off of one another, taking themes and twisting them only to pass them back to the other to be further improvised; this for me was the highlight of the weekend.

However, it was not all jazz, BondWoman and I did get to explore the island a little, and I managed to bag all eight distilleries, which I thought was a feat in itself; and before you even think it I did not sample the wares at all of them! Although turning up at Bruichladdich we got talking to a guy and I mentioned that it was the only Islay malt that I had not yet tasted, he promptly shot inside and came back with “a wee dram”, well if that was a wee dram then I would hate to think what his idea of a large whisky is… But, it was gratefully accepted and duly enjoyed in the early evening sun…

For those interested the eight distilleries are:-
Ardbeg
Laphroaig
Lagavulin
Bowmore
Caol Ila
Bruichladdich
Bunnahabhain
and not yet prducing
Kilchoman

And very fine whisky is produced at all of them, I sampled the raw spirit at Kilchoman and if that is anything to judge by they will be producing a very fine whisky indeed…

I will be writing a much more extensive account of the trip for The Bonds al Fresco, and also posting some pictures when I get around to sorting them out properly in the next couple of days….

A Return to Form…

Thanks to all who commented and offered advice for the Black Moods… A weekend away at the Islay jazz festival helped immensely, the fresh air, the great music, the wonderful scenery and, naturally, the whisky were all part and parcel of getting poor old BondBloke back on his feet once more, well so to speak; so be afraid, be very afraid!!!!!

Black Moods

The mood is very black at present, on a sliding scale it has gone through the blackest blackness and out the other side. This is not really a place for such personal stuff, especially with the sort of thoughts running around in my head at present; I really don’t trust myself to blog them. I find myself shouting at the Today programme in the mornings telling those fucking idiots who are responsible for fucking up this tiny speck of cosmic dust that we live on to tell the truth for once in their miserable lives. Would it be so difficult for a complete and utter moron like Bush, or an ass licker like Blair, to step back and say “OK, we got that wrong, we fucked up big time”; personally they would get a lot more respect from people like me if they did. I know that such things will NEVER happen and that there will be many blue moons before it does. Maybe I care too much, but I find it totally obscene that such a small population of this world can control so much on the basis that “we have it, and if you want it then you have to do what we tell you”; well if that is how democracy works for fuck’s sake bring on the revolution and let’s shoot a few of these wankers!

 Rant over…

A Nation Remembers

Any regular reader of this blog will know that I am a great fan of Mark Fiore’s cartoons, well if you look at nothing else today take a look at:-

THIS

The Knives are out and they Are Sharp!

The latest “rat” to come out of the cesspit that is “New Labour” is Charles Clarke, who launches an attack on Gorgeous Gordon (well gorgeous might be a little off the mark, I suppose it very much depends on your tastes and sexual preferences). Personally I don’t have a lot of time for Charlie the Safety Elephant, but this time I think he is dead right, and that Gordon has to prove that he is leadership material; my opinion is that he is not, do we need a Labour leader who will be constantly going off in a sulk if he can’t get his own way? I THINK NOT!

However there are those who think that he is wrong: a bit of New Labour tottie was trotted out on the Today Programme this morning in the form of Ruth Kelly, who made me choke on my toast not once but twice; two quotes did it, the first being that Tony Blair has been the “most open and honest Prime Minister” we have had for a very long time, the second being that he has been an ”extraordinarily successful and brilliant Prime Minister“. Well, sit on me please to stop me rolling on the floor laughing!

Here we have a Prime Minister who has constanly lied to the public, who has been the most Draconian PM ever (and I include Thatcher), who says he has a “moral conviction” (which I have yet to see evidence of), yet who I think has worse morals than a street fighting tom cat. Old consumption (TB) has no one but himself to blame for the feeding frenzy that is at present taking place; if he had kept his big mouth shut (something that he appears to be manifestly unable to do) and had not said after the last election that he would be standing down before the next, no one would have been any the wiser and he could simply have made the decision in his own time. However, all he has managed to do is to create divisions within the Labour Party which are equally as damaging as those of the Kinnock era when they were trying to deal with the whole Militant issue. We all know that TB is so enamoured with the political stage that he is not going to go of his own free will, and that he is going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming from it; well the sooner that happens the better, but the question actually frightens me is ‘who is going to replace him?’ If that replacement happens to be Gordon Brown then I am afraid that will be the biggest disaster that the Labour Party has faced in the whole of its history.

Break up of the Union

I found this today and it made me think a little. If the English Nationalists are so hell bent on the break up of the Union then I think that they should also consider that this would be a great opportunity to kick that great English institutuion, the RSPB, which is causing such havoc in places like The Western Isles among other places, the hell out of Scotland, and to send them back where they belong Sandy in Bedfordshire! This is an institution that has bought up vast quantities of land, particularly in the Hebrides, in the name of conservation; their main aim being to save the corncrake. In fact what has happened is that in failing to talk, or even listen to, the crofters (who by the way have managed the land for centuries without driving wildlife away) what has actually happened is that the corncrake is in more of a decline than before the RSPB interfered, mostly because they don’t have a clue what they are doing. Since this intervention the rise in the numbers of predatory birds, hoodies (the hooded crow) and black-backed shite hawks (seagulls) in particular, because the crofters are no longer allowed to control them, has had a detrimental effect. Not only this but they also prevent the control of the geese that are devastating the crops of the crofters to the extent that many crfoters are struggling; the numbers of breeding geese, particularly the Grey Lag Goose, are rising disproportionately. These are just a couple of the problems resulting from English sticky-beaking; so as far as I am concerned the English Nationalists can have the break up of the Union on the condition that the English institutions that are creating many problems up here get their bloody noses out of Scotland and give the crofters back their land and let them manage it as only they know how, in an evironmentally friendly manner.

I suggest that anyone who is sceptical of this post go and read Ian Mitchell’s Isles of the West where they will find the argumenst comprehensively laid out in all their glory; and at the same time they will have a great read… 

Apathy

Apologies to regular readers, I have been suffereing an extended bout of blog apathy over recent weeks, that and the fact there has been nothing that has sufficiently grabbed my attention, or made me angry enough to have a good rant. Well there have been things that have made me angry, but my views on such things are best kept to myself… Even the English Nationalists have not been able to produce anything of note that I find sufficiently bizzare to blog; now that is serious apathy!

There has also been a lot of everyday mundane stuff going on in th background which hgas been rather time consuming, but I am sure that you will not want to be bored rigid by my relating all of those gory details…